Don't brag and don't just stand there

Matt.22

[1] And Jesus answered and spake unto them again by parables, and said,
[2] The kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king, which made a marriage for his son,
[3] And sent forth his servants to call them that were bidden to the wedding: and they would not come.
[4] Again, he sent forth other servants, saying, Tell them which are bidden, Behold, I have prepared my dinner: my oxen and my fatlings are killed, and all things are ready: come unto the marriage.
[5] But they made light of it, and went their ways, one to his farm, another to his merchandise:
[6] And the remnant took his servants, and entreated them spitefully, and slew them.
[7] But when the king heard thereof, he was wroth: and he sent forth his armies, and destroyed those murderers, and burned up their city.
[8] Then saith he to his servants, The wedding is ready, but they which were bidden were not worthy.
[9] Go ye therefore into the highways, and as many as ye shall find, bid to the marriage.
[10] So those servants went out into the highways, and gathered together all as many as they found, both bad and good: and the wedding was furnished with guests.
[11] And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment:
[12] And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless.
[13] Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Rev.22

[10] And he saith unto me, Seal not the sayings of the prophecy of this book: for the time is at hand.

[11] He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy, let him be holy still.

[12] And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.

Here are some snappy comebacks. Being speechless seems only slightly better than bragging about your works, which apparently ends in the lake of fire. (Matt 7:22-23)

So try these:

must you remind me? the traffic was unbearable getting here.  

I knew I forgot something, to stop at the dry cleaners. 

I was hung over from the last wedding party and forgot to get it dry cleaned. forgive me.

I have a feeling we've been through this before, but give me one more chance.

those ropes are completely unnecessary. I'm sure we can work something out.

there was no mention of a wedding garment in the invitation. see I have it right here.

--

if you say nothing you're doomed. 

maybe He'll only tie one hand behind your back and throw you into the twilight zone.

.